Runs in the Family

Dear possible endometriosis,

I feel a bit weird strange blaming all my problems in life on you since I don't even know if I have you yet, but if I do you've caused me so much pain you deserve it.

Hopefully I can go see if you are the problem soon as ms rona leaves us, you've tormented the past 3 (that we know of) generations of women in my family, you've made them hate their periods and caused them immense pain, and now we think you've been passed down to me, thanks a lot mate.

I've missed a lot of my education thanks to you, I've missed out on some many experiences because I've been sitting crying at home because my uterus feels like its been stepped on by a black Friday sized crowd of drag queens in stilettos.

If it is you that's been causing me this pain fuck you, if not, I don't give a shit you've hurt my mum, sisters, cousins, aunties and gran.

Thanks a bunch, love Rory (and her very hormonal family)

Rory, UK

Expectations Vs Reality

Dear Vaginal Ring,

You were supposed to make my sex life more enjoyable and make my aching boobs and ovulation pain go away, INSTEAD you gave me constant cramps, bleeding and suuuuuper sore boobs, no sex drive, mood swings and morning anxiety. Taking you out was the best decision I've ever made,
bye forever!

G D, Italy

The Ultimate Rejection

Dear my coil,

Thank you for eliminating most of my endometriosis symptoms. Thank you for allowing me to have pain free, enjoyable sex. But why did my uterus have to reject you. Why did you fall out after 1 year of being fine and cause unimaginable pain.

Mille, England

Missing

Dear Period,

After 18 months with you missing of your own accord, I would love for you to return now. Just for my own sanity that I am normal.

Many have told me that I'm lucky I do not have to deal with you every month - but I would rather have you and be in physical pain than the mental pain that comes with not having you.

I hope to see you soon.

Anonymous, UK

Testing

Dear Transvaginal Ultrasound,

Please find something. I’ve been in pain for 10 years and the thought of having to do more tests is so draining. Also sorry to the ultrasound girl who saw my butthole.

Ash, Australia

Imperfect Match

Dear Birth Control,

Thank you for fixing my irregular period and stopping me from thinking I'm pregnant every other month. Also, thank you for the lighter periods and less painful cramps.

However, I will not forgive you mini pill for giving me periods every too weeks. And the patch is also on thin ice for worsening my headaches.

I dream of the day I find my perfect birth control match.

If you're out there somewhere I will find you!

Jaz, UK

Suck It Up

Dear Crazy Hormones,

Thank you for causing the week leading up to my period to be a complete roller coaster and the physical symptoms when my period arrives to be debilitating. You’ve also made any form of hormonal birth control impossible. You decided unreasonable irritability and WILD mood swings were a great reaction to the different pills. Your reaction to the patch - nothing shorter than 14 day periods!! And any other form was greeted with worse symptoms (didn’t think that was possible until it happened). I’ve been told nothings wrong, you (the hormones) are a little out of whack and I’ve just got to suck it up.

Anyway, I’ll just be over here enjoying my two weeks of freedom until it all starts over again.

Anonymous, USA

Dramatic Cramping

Dear my ovarian cysts

Thank you for the dark hair all over my body even though I’m blonde. Thank you for the dramatic cramping, the feeling of being shot in the groin on a random Tuesday afternoon when I’m walking to my favourite smoothie bar. Thank you for the gut I will be obsessively trying to get rid of until I accept it’s part of my body. Please, just calm the fuck down.

Ella, UK

Passing Out from Period Pains

Dear doctors who ignored me,

I spent my the first 10 years of my period on various contraceptive pills suffering because my periods were too painful to deal with without some form of hormonal control. But the pills messed up my mental health and combined with other events in my life have left me with anxiety and panic disorder. I’ve spent almost my entire adult life trying to get a doctor to believe that my period hurt more than was normal and no one ever took me seriously. I saw 8 different GPs and no one ever took me seriously nor did they do anything but tell me to take pain relief and get a hot water bottle and try another contraceptive. Like I hadn’t already tried all these things. And now I’m in drug induced menopause because after a year of finally being off any hormonal medication and my period getting worse and worse till I cramped for half of my cycle and passed out multiple times each month because I was in so much pain. All of this culminating in me getting a concussion from hitting my head when I passed out from the pain.
I finally got a gynaecologist to believe me and after paying thousands of dollars I’m now on medication to put me into menopause to stop my period so I don’t have to risk passing out and getting further head injuries till I can finally get surgery to confirm a diagnosis of endometriosis.

So now I’m 24 and in menopause having hot flushes and hormonal mood swings and all the other terrible menopause symptoms that you hear about and still I’m happy about that because I’m not passing out multiple times a month.

I understand that the probable endometriosis wasn’t any ones fault but I shouldn’t of been questioning if I was correct about my feelings about how painful my period was since I was 13 and I shouldn’t of had to spent so much money trying desperately to find a doctor who would believe me.

And it should never of taken me getting a head injury from passing out on my period for anyone to take me seriously. And I shouldn’t of spent years being messed around by doctors being put on hormonal medication that ruined my mental health.

Hannah, New Zealand

Considering the Pill? Part 2

Dear combined pill

Thank you so so much. I couldn’t deal with periods lasting over a week and occurring every two anymore. Bringing with it cramps which made me feel like I was going to throw up and pass out.

You have made my life bearable and period free

Octavia, England

Kinda Crappy

Dear the pill,

we have a love and hate relationship. you keep my cycle in check, because without you my pcos can cause me to go 6 months without a period. But, you make my cramps worse and have made my life kinda crappy.
sincerely,

Anonymous, USA

Safety

Dear the Pill,

You helped me handle the worst cramping, heavy flow and PMS for almost 5 years before my body rejected you (development of melasma). But you also kept me safe from pregnancy during 3 years of an abusive relationship, you meant I never had to make a tough decision about whether to keep a baby. I am now free and safe, and protected by an implant until the day comes that making such a decision is my choice and mine alone. Thank you.

Anonymous, Switzerland

Second Chance

Dear period,

Oh boy it’s weird to have you back, but for all your mood swings, cramps and back pain you’ve shown me that I’m healthy again after years of anorexia. Thanks for giving me a second chance.

Anonymous, UK

50 Days and 50 Nights (Of Bleeding)

Dear Implant,

You honestly caused a shit storm for five months. Bleeding for 50 days straight will apparently land you with an iron infusion and this thick, sickly fog that won’t leave you. I despised you at first, as the whole point of getting you was to decrease my bleeding and my pain. I was frustrated with you. I couldn’t take the pill because it made me ill, I couldn’t do an IUD because of trauma, you were my last hope. And I wanted to get you removed.

But now; the pain is gone. The cramping that would literally have me cemented in bed for 14 days has vanished. I hate feeling you in my arm, but I thankful that you finally started to work.

Anonymous, USA

A Forced Break

Dear the Pill.

We started our relationship when I was 14. I just wanted something to stop my horrendous period pain so I could have a month without fainting and being sick. And you did it! But, I feel like over the last ten years we've changed from how we used to be. Instead of making me happy I don't know how you make me feel, because I don't remember how I felt before you. I was scared to leave you though. And suddenly you weren't available, and I was forced to take a break. And I feel so much lighter and happier and more free. I'm glad of our time together, but now we have to explore other options. I wish you well!

Lucy, UK

“Part of Life”

Dear Doctor,

I wish you would have believed me. The first time I visited you about my period pain I was thirteen years old. You said the pain was normal. You used the word "complaining". You told me to use paracetamol.

The second time I visited you I told you I was missing weeks per month at school. I couldn't walk for the first two days each cycle for the pain. You prescribed me something stronger but it didn't help. No referral. No gynaecologist.

The third time I visited I cried, I begged you to help, you told me I was a woman now and my pain was "part of life". I was fourteen and I cried harder. I had to "learn to cope". I saw myself as weak.

The seventh time I visited you, I was nineteen, I was at university, I knew my pain wasn’t normal, my flat mates saw me screaming on the bathroom floor and told me they were worried. I got my referral.

I didn't visit you an eighth time. I had been to the hospital, been scanned, sat in the whirring MRI machine praying they would find something, something that could be treated.

They did.

The consultant told me, I had been born with a birth defect inside. Two uteruses sharing one small cervix that isn't wide enough. My blood had been collecting inside of me. My body contracting harder and harder each month to try to push it out.

I didn't visit an eighth time, because as much as I wanted to tell you I was right all along, that I wasn’t complaining or weak. Instead of visiting I changed GP practice. I realise now that girls deserve to be listened to. To be believed.

Today I am cared for by a gynaecologist who listens to me. I take muscle relaxants to ease the contractions, I am having surgery next month to allow me to carry children. I feel heard. I feel believed. My periods will never be "normal" but at least now I am in control.

@spooniefighter

Natalie, UK

Which is Worse?

Dear The Pill,

You have made my periods 4 days long instead of 7. You have made them lighter, and less painful, and more bearable, but you also cause me to have intense cramps in my cervix and pass clots big enough to fill my menstrual cup. You’ve stolen my sex drive and made my mood swings go wild, yet I feel addicted to you. I’m scared of what will happen if I come off of you, I’m scared the pain and length and heaviness of my periods will come back. I no longer know what’s worse. Heavy, painful, unbearable periods, or mood swings and a lack of sex drive which is threatening my relationship

Please sort it out.

Thanks

Charlotte, England

Like Clockwork

Dear Pill,

Thank you for halving the amount of pads I have to use each period and for taking the stress of not knowing when my period will show up!

Thank you for minimising the back pain and cramps I used to get but had to ignore!

Thank you for making life just a little bit easier to deal with by taking the period stress away making it all work like clockwork!

Sincerely, Me

Kate, UK

Could You Not?

 Dear Period Cramps,

Could you not? I would like to get out of bed at some point today.

Thanks,
-Chris

Chris, USA

Escape

 Dear the mini pill

I don't even know how to express how grateful I am to you, you saved me from the period pains that crippled me and the mood swings and emotional distress that came with the combined pill (maybe it's more my family and friends that would want to thank you for that one). Thank you for letting me escape the anxiety I felt about when my period would start and most of all thank you for letting me run, walk and climb whenever I like without worrying about cramps.

You treat me right

Love from Lottie

Lottie, England