Wrapped in a Nice Red Bow

Dear Endometriosis,

I have had you for a while now, I’ve had symptoms for 7 years in fact. My periods came, and so did you. Wrapped in a nice red bow.

For years, I was told you didn’t exist, that I was a weak-willed young girl who cried wolf; but I knew you, I felt you - the way you burnt into my organs was apparent every time I bled, and every time I was screaming on my bedroom floor, clutching at my stomach.

This year, I got my answer, but you’d already told me; you’d already whispered it into my ear. I do have endometriosis. I do have adenomyosis.

Finding a monster under the bed isn’t as scary when you’ve been living with it, feeding it, growing it; the monster grew big and strong in the shadows and it was fed by disbelief - but now I am stronger, I am wiser. My bloated belly, and painful joints do nothing other than remind me that I am a temple. I own this body and everything inside.

So Endometriosis, thank you for sticking with me through everything, literally - because you proved to me that I was right, and you proved how much comfort can be found when you accept fate. I love you, and everything you bring, because you are mine.

Imogen, England

Not Just PMS

Dear anti-depressants,

I'm so sorry it took a PMDD diagnosis for me to be comfortable with you. I thought it was just PMS or mood swings - things we're "not meant" to take medication for. Thank you for helping me live a better life and not be a slave to my hormones.

Love, Alexandra

Alexandra, Australia

Free Bleeding

Dear hormonal coil,

Since July 2017 you are in my womb delivering locally some hormones. Since I have my periods every 35 days for 3-5 days with no needs of protections just washing my underwear. Before that my periods was every 35 days but for 8 days and very heavy. I needed to change my protection multiple times a day and leak at night was frequent.

I like to continue to have my periods but this flux it's better for me.

thank you coil

Aurore, France

Farewell, Period

Dear My Period,

Since starting testosterone in February, I haven't seen you in 5 months, now. It's a surreal experience. You've been a part of my life for 14 years and now suddenly, you're gone. It's a weird feeling. I am genuinely happy that you're gone. My quality of life and personal happiness has been exponentially increased. Part of me is a little sad, though. Many, many years ago, I thought that I'd have biological children of my own, ones that I would carry. My mind has changed since then but this feels permanent. I know that if I were to go off of testosterone, you'd come back. I think it's best, though, that we stay distant. Like ex-friends. We can acknowledge that we had our time together but I'm opening a new chapter of my life now.

Thank you for the time you spent with me.

Anonymous, USA

Trusty Backup

Dear ring,

You have truly changed my life, as someone with anxiety I used to live in fear of a condom failure but now I have you as my backup. Not only that but you haven’t changed my cycle, it is still 29 days so thank you so much for adapting to me, instead of making me adapt to you. Keep hanging in there little buddy.

Javiera, Chile

Pointless

Dear pill,

Thanks for giving me a non-stop period for SEVEN MONTHS. After a while, my menstrual cup got too uncomfortable. And then so did tampons. So then I was wearing pads, and I think my skin ended up having an allergic reaction to the pads. Thanks for all the pointless pain and discomfort.

Anonymous, UK

Managing Migraines

Dear migraines,

I was started on the pill at 15, and I had horrific migraines, I’d never had migraine before and I tried 5 different pills but they were all the same, some gave me a migraine the same day I took it, others would give me then after a week of taking it, the doctor said that I couldn’t take the pill anymore as it was increasing my risk of strokes or blood clots! So I got the hormonal coil, as the hormones are localised so don’t have to travel round my body. Interestingly though my migraines never stopped after not taking the pill anymore, they got much less frequent as in maybe 3 times a year, but when I got to university I’m my third year I was diagnosed with silent hemiplegic migraines and I had to stop drinking caffeine and eating chocolate. Luckily I’ve been almost migraine free for 2 years.

Emily, UK

A Big Fuck You

Dear periods,

Fuck you. Like seriously, fuck you. Fuck you for causing me such extreme mood swings that I go from being elated to suicidal in a matter of days. Fuck you for making me so unwell that I had to be hospitalised for my mental health. Fuck you for leaving me with self harm scars all over my body. Fuck you for making me need to take medication to keep you under control. And finally, fuck you for causing my teenage years to be lost to mental illness.

Anonymous, UK

Floods of Poo

Dear period diarrhoea,

Would you please have some mercy? I’m tired of pooping never ending floods. I hate you for making my stomach feel as if I have to poop all. the. time. so that I don’t want to do anything but sit on the toilet and wait. I’ve had enough of waking up in the middle of the night because my pain killer has stopped working and the diarrhoea is back.

You’ve ruined many important days of rest and countless school days. You’ve deprived me of sleep. After you woke me up tonight again, and after sitting on the toilet for an hour with no end to the hell, I’m begging you: would you please ease up a little bit next month?

Lizzie, Sweden

Reluctant Rollercoaster Ride

Dear Hormones,

Why do you have to have such a huge effect on my moods, you make me act like a different person each week on my cycle and even though I know it happens I have no way to change it. I just want to be stable rather than a constant rollercoaster!!

Anonymous, UK

Overwhelmed with Periods

Dear implant,

Thank you for giving me a period for three straight months, and then two periods every month since. Thank you for getting my hopes up of not getting a period for a while and then letting me down massively and making them so, so much worse.

Lizzie, England

Not Broken

Dear Vulvodynia,

Fuck you for convincing me I was broken and couldn't orgasm. I can orgasm- multiple times!!! Although I hate you most days, thank you for teaching me that no vagina is normal and mine is perfect the way it is.

Becca, USA

“Invisible”

Dear Endometriosis,

You fooled the doctors for 9 years. You have made me miss school, work and social gatherings for over half my life. You have caused me unimaginable pain and fused my organs together. You are invisible to others but sometimes you are all I see when I look at myself.

Sally, UK

One Day…

Dear Pregnancy,

Thank you for letting me grow this tiny human, just please can I have ONE day without a hormonal breakdown and achey boobs? Thank you!

Molly, UK

Tried Everything

Dear Contraception,

Why can I never find the right contraception for me? I’ve tried pills and pills and pills. I’ve tried implants and injections and patches. My last option is a coil and this scares me half to death. I’m currently without anything (not sexually active either) and it’s hell. Just need something for these painful and heavy periods and nothing can sort me out without migraines or continuous bleeding or pain.

Anonymous, UK

Short Finger Problems

Dear Hormonal Coil,

I really appreciate the whole no kids thing and the few side effects, but would it be possible for this spotting to stop? It’s been 8 months and it’s getting a bit boring now, let’s change it up! How about some sore tits? Also, I have short fingers so let’s just hope you’re still up there while I can’t check, k?

Lots of love, my appreciative but mildly disgruntled uterus.

Georgia, England

No Regrets

Dear Breast Reduction,

I didn‘t think you‘d change how my nipples feel during ovulation. Also you made my boobs feel way less sore, especially during my period.
But even though people talk, I don‘t regret having you at all. I‘m way more comfortable now. And my back is, too.

Alex, Germany

Taking Things Into My Own Hands

Dear PCOS,

You made me feel really unsexy and not womanly enough. But you pushed me to learn more about my lady bits. You showed me the flaws in the sex ed I was given at school and made me confidently seek the knowledge about my body that tradition, society and my government failed to deliver. I can openly talk about smegma, vaginismus and period blood to anyone willing to listen (male or female). So you may have given me horrible PMS, but I guess we can overlook that for now ;)

Amina, South Africa

Protected?

Dear the pill...

Thanks for protecting me for 2 years but a few weeks ago I decided to move on. I didn't realise at first how badly you have affected my mental health. I wasn't asked at any point by a health professional at check ups how my mental health was and your side effects were never discussed. I do miss you in a way, I feel less protected from pregnancy using condoms but the positive change in my mood is more than I could ever have expected.

Anonymous, Scotland

Runs in the Family

Dear possible endometriosis,

I feel a bit weird strange blaming all my problems in life on you since I don't even know if I have you yet, but if I do you've caused me so much pain you deserve it.

Hopefully I can go see if you are the problem soon as ms rona leaves us, you've tormented the past 3 (that we know of) generations of women in my family, you've made them hate their periods and caused them immense pain, and now we think you've been passed down to me, thanks a lot mate.

I've missed a lot of my education thanks to you, I've missed out on some many experiences because I've been sitting crying at home because my uterus feels like its been stepped on by a black Friday sized crowd of drag queens in stilettos.

If it is you that's been causing me this pain fuck you, if not, I don't give a shit you've hurt my mum, sisters, cousins, aunties and gran.

Thanks a bunch, love Rory (and her very hormonal family)

Rory, UK